If I had a dollar for every time someone gave me unsolicited advice, I'd be a billionaire.
Sometimes it's helpful. Often times, it's not. For the most part, stuff like that slides off my back. End of story.
But every now and then - yes, I'm human - it just makes my blood BOIL.
And the "advice" usually comes from some INSUFFERABLE doorknob who THINKS he/she/they have moral superiority over everybody else.
And because we live in polite society, it usually takes EVERY ounce of energy in me - to hold back from saying out loud - sit down and shut the f*ck up, please and thanks.
What I REALLY want to say - LISTEN assh*le, my body has been through an INCREDIBLE amount of trauma. EVERY day is a STRUGGLE. Don't ASSUME you know what it's like to survive an assault, NDE - AND relentless harassment from What's His Face up North.
So pardon the French when I express frustration and the occasional RAGE when I get triggered in light of everything that has happened.
Living through my pain is me being AUTHENTIC. It's part of the recovery process. That means NOT numbing the pain and masking it with superficial positive emotions when it's not there in that moment.
ANGER exists because it serves a PURPOSE. It's one of the stages of processing GRIEF. And I have a fair share of it.
So to the douchebag telling me - "positive emotions only" - if anger is something that makes YOU uncomfortable, that says something about YOU and your narrow definition of what are "acceptable" emotions and what it means to be authentic. If you want to live in a vacuum, go for it - but don't expect me or everyone else to blindly follow along because it's the flavor du jour.
F*ck that sh*t.
Anger is an evolutionary mechanism built into the human body. Triggered when something goes wrong. Like when someone crosses a line.
Like the Lead who tried to BLACKMAIL me into silence up in City of Glass, Land of Maple Syrup. Well he FAILED. And throat cancer caught up with him in the end. Serves him right - Mothaf*cker.
Long story short - when someone is speaking, let them FINISH. It's not rocket science. Call it what you will, good manners or Freedom of Speech.
Yes I'm talking to you, United Neighbors -
I've EARNED the right to speak my mind. Cease fire my ass.
INJUSTICE happened with the world as witness. No ones gives a sh*t about "peace, dignity, and equality" if it's only lip service.
Does it SOUND like I was given any peace or dignity by What's His Face ???? Does it LOOK like equality was exercised when Land of Maple Syrup executed entrapment on a civilian trying to recover and process the realities of systematic oppression and its massive f*ckups ?????
So please, stand on the sidelines and stay out my business.
Grab some popcorn if that makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Will send word when it's time for a photo opp and group cuddles after singing Kumbaya. I'll even throw in ribbon cutting if that's what rocks your world.
For everyone else looking in - sorry you had to witness that - I'll stop ranting now.
But things had to be said to clear the air. Suppressing emotions takes up ALOT of bandwidth. And not healthy for the bod and spirit IMHO. In my experience, joy can't be felt FULLY if its counterpart - pain/struggle - is kept in the shadows.
And now back to our regular programming.